Major Payne

Quotes: « Major Payne: Boy, I am two seconds from being on you like white on rice in a glass of milk on a paper plate in a snowstorm. I'm gonna put my foot so far up your ass, the water on my knee will quench your thirst. » « Alex Stone: Try it. » « Emily: [She and Tiger enter Major Payne's office] Apparently he had a little accident. » « Major Payne: Apparently he pissed all over the front of his pants. » « Emily: Well maybe that's because he's six. » « Major Payne: Because he's six? Woman, when I was six years old I had a full time job. » « Major Payne: Maybe what he need is for you to pop your titty out his mouth and let the boy grow up. » « Emily: Excuse me, what did you say? » « Major Payne: I didn't stutter, I said pop-your-titty-out-his-mouth AND STOP BABYING HIM. » « Emily: I don't call it babying, I call it nurturing. » « Major Payne: And I call it neutering. » « Emily: And I call you an insecure, overbearing, psychopathic, dictorial, ego maniacal, frigid lunatic ASSHOLE! » « Major Payne: I ain't frigid. »