The Nutty Professor

Quotes: « Mama Klump: Sherman, I think I do remember hearing something on TV about colon cleansin'. They say everyone should have one. I'm thinkin' about gettin' me an appointment and go down and get my colon cleansed thoroughly. » « Papa Klump: You want your colon cleansed? Fine, I'm gonna clean mine. » [lets a loud fart, and Ernie Klump Jr. laughs harder and harder] « Papa Klump: There. Now my colon is clean. I'm talking squeaky clean. » « Mama Klump: Cletus, that is disgusting. We're tryin' to have a meal and you wanna start breaking gas. Don't break gas and destroy our meal. » « Papa Klump: Don't tell me to stop! You're the one that brought up colon cleansin' and all that mess! » « Mama Klump: I did not say anything about breakin' gas! I said I was going to get my colon cleaned. » « Papa Klump: Don't you talk about putting a tube up somebody's ass, but I can't break wind. » « Mama Klump: I didn't say nothing about putting no hose up nobody's ass. Cletus, I said… » « Papa Klump: What you think a colonic is? You think you're gonna run your asshole by the car wash? » [Ernie Jr. starts choking from eating and out-of-control laughter] « Mama Klump: You're choking the baby. » « Papa Klump: As long as I pay the bills, I do what I want at this table. Case in point. » [lets another loud fart] « Grandma Klump: Who's that calling my name? » « Mama Klump: Yeah, I'll call you up if your name is… » [farts in finishing his sentence, then laughs in mockery] « Grandma Klump: Keep insulting me. » [picks up a knife] « Grandma Klump: I'll toss this between the crack of your ass. » « Papa Klump: Yeah. You know, I can go all night. » [lets another loud fart] « Mama Klump: Keep farting. I hope you fart until your asshole falls out. » [Cletus lets another fart, Ernie Sr laughs loudly and then Ernie Jr. manages to follow along] « Mama Klump: Oh, my baby too! » [Cletus lets another loud fart that this time sounds wet] « Papa Klump: Oops! Now, see what you made me do? » [starts running away clutching his pants] « Papa Klump: Goddamn it, I messed up my pants! » « Ernie Klump: Damn, Daddy. You rotten. » « Mama Klump: You've got to clean 'em yourself! » « Grandma Klump: Come on, Cletus! It ain't nuthin' but a short walk. You might walk over, but you limpin' back! I ain't no easy win, nigga! » « Buddy Love: What's wrong with that breath? I can smell it over here! Reggie, your breath is so stinky, people look forward to your farts. Breath smells like shit! Do you smell shit? » [sniffs] « Buddy Love: I SMELL SHIT! »